How about drinking ordinary water and saving that gibberish wrapped as advice for your family members or people who have actually asked for it? Because you know what nobody likes? Unsolicited advice— especially when it is coming from random people.
No one asked for your opinion on what to do to lose weight or what to use on their face to heal their acne, and no one is certainly asking you to fill them in on how to deal with that menstrual cramp.
But just like that nosy church member who thinks the onus is on her to tell you to dress decently to church, or that aunty who has been screaming in your ears that the person you are dating is not tall enough— we are here to serve you with 10 Brutal Truths You Didn’t Ask For But Seriously Need to Hear.
Mind you, this is no motivational Pinterest board with cool aesthetics or a bunch of sugar-coated and honey-glazed live, laugh and love tag. These are brutal truths. You are probably going to roll your eyes first, but when it is 2 AM, and you are staring at the ceiling with your niece snoring her life away, you’d know this hit a little too close.
You know what? Just buckle up. Here are 10 Brutal Truths You Didn’t Ask For But Seriously Need to Hear. Deep down, we know it is a wake-up call that you need, not some soothing lullaby.
Stop waiting for that ‘Special occasion’ to show up for yourself: Cliche much, but I bet we are all guilty of this either consciously or otherwise. For some inexplicable reasons, we have gotten used to shoving some stuff, be it clothes, shoes, accessories or whatever, for special occasions.
Whereas we can all agree that you can wear everything all at the same time, we have to make it a point to show up for ourselves in the most deserving way there is. There are no special occasions, there are no special days— every day comes with its own uniqueness, so when you feel like it, do it. After all, tomorrow is not promised. You may die in your sleep.
Nonchalance has no place in love: this is quite dicey, but what it means is that, if someone says they are in love with you, they cannot be indifferent about you. Love generally requires attention, intentionality, and a lot of care for it to blossom. Without these things and a host of others, love is most likely to dwindle, so if you are telling me you love me, you ought to play the part.
Did I mention this is quite dicey? People have ways of showing or proving their love. This is where love languages come to play. I strongly believe that just because someone is nonchalant about certain aspects of a relationship does not automatically mean they do not care or love you enough.
However, that is just my opinion.
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The attention you give people is a lot powerful than you may take credit for: you know what they say about never getting the time spent on people back? Yes, the attention, time and effort we dedicate to people, regardless of the gender or the type of relationship we have with them, is a precious one. We owe it to ourselves to be picky when it comes to the people allowed into our lives.
At the end of the day, make sure you are not wasting it on the wrong person
Healing isn’t about rewinding to become your old self again: What this basically means is that your experiences have already shaped you, and there is no way you can rewind that, let alone erase them. The process of healing is not for you to get your old self back, it is for you to embrace the lessons, scars, and strength that came with the pain — and using them to evolve into a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself.
Not everyone you meet is meant to teach you a lesson: Some people are not just red flags; they are walking red banners in a human form, and you steer clear of these people. These people wreak havoc, so do yourself a favour by avoiding them completely. They are not going to teach you any ‘valuable’ lesson nuanced in a warm, poetic way.
Don’t take genuine people for granted: we live in a sh!tty world full of noise and people looking out for themselves only. So if you happen to meet or find yourself among people who genuinely care for you and consider you a part of their pack, do not take them for granted. These people are the real MVPs.
You don’t always need closure: Sometimes the unanswered questions are the answer. Sometimes silence is the closure. Sometimes walking away without the final word is the healing. Because closure isn’t about them tying it up neatly for you — it’s about you deciding the chapter is over, even if the book doesn’t have an epilogue.
Be open to meeting new people: get out of your comfort zone, make new friends, familiarise yourself with new people and start conversations with strangers. Your best relationship has probably not happened yet.
You are not a repository of wisdom: you are not a walking library, and you don’t need to be. You have shortcomings just like everyone else. You will make mistakes, and others will as well. As you weather through the varied phases in life, try to be more accommodating, tolerant and respectful towards other people.
You can always start all over again: there is nothing like I have done it so many times, so I am giving up. If at first you don’t succeed, you’d better try again— it just might work. Life is nothing but a series of trial and error.
As I mentioned earlier, these 10 Brutal Truths You Didn’t Ask For But Seriously Need to Hear have the notes of unsolicited advice. You never ask for them, but that stops no one from sharing them anyway.
So you know what to do, you can either take them in and reflect or whatever…
